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No Malcriadas allowed
Yesterday, I heard my daughter respond with a very rude “Wha-TTT?” to my adult friend.
It took all I had not to stomp across the kitchen and into the dining room and snatch her bald-headed, as they say here in the South. My girlfriend, a soft-spoken Native Nashvillian, addressed the tone, and I was able to calmy ask Maria to re-do and respond with a kinder and appropriate “Yes?”
Malcriada is not what we’re aiming for here. Oh, no, no, no mi’jita.
I am finding that as the girl grows it can be a struggle to balance the more common lax mode of parenting I see around me with the strict ass-whooping, Cuban-style I grew up with.
Rude is rude in any language, but limits and what is acceptable seem to vary so much these days. The friend who got her head bitten off by Maria yesterday agreed to never allow Maria to get away with rudeness, whether I am there or not. For that, I am appreciative.
When I was growing up, every single adult was allowed to set us straight. Some were harsher than others, but looking back I think it created a safety net around the kids. And except for the foul mouth I can unleash, I am a pretty polite adult.
One friend tells me she ignores a lot of what her kids do because she’s just plain exhausted. In my memory, no matter how damned tired my parents were, there were rules and I am completely following along in that mode — sans the sopapos and cabezasos.
This morning, Maria and I practiced appropriate ways to respond to adults. Kind of ridiculous, but what the hell. What else to do on the drive in to school?
Little does she know, next time she ends up at this friend’s house for a play date, she’s going to get schooled in the ways of Southern charm and “yes, Mams” too. And, Mami gets a full report.
9 Responses to “No Malcriadas allowed”
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I know exactly what you mean-my mother would put us in line con solo una mirada. I struggle with keeping my chiquita bien educada and not be malcriada even though her anglo primos, and tias are ok with that behavior. Sheesh! It’s hard work!
Haha! We’re constantly working on Southern politeness with our nena. Luckily, she’s not very fond of la esquina and likes saying “pease”, “tanks”, and “scuseme”-for now.
My hubby ALWAYS tells our 2 to not be malcriados. I would LOVE it, on one hand, if any responsible adult could respond with the delicate Latino smackdown, but it’s such a rare gift lately!
Carrie! Awesome blog, amo el spanglish and all. Awesome blog, I also stalk Latina-moms…
I think it’s wonderful that you spoke with Maria about speaking with adults. So many people today think that teaching manners and etiquette is stuffy, snobby, etc., when it’s really not.
As for southern child rearing, I think it’s great that parents are fine with spanking their kids. I was spanked (and I’m guessing you know how mi esposo was disciplined) and I think I turned out just fine.
I guess the sopapos y chancletasos did a good job,and you are alive,we all survive them, and you are right,I don’t like niños malcriados.
Good job.
Your tia does not like “niñas malcriadas” tampoco. But, you were always a very polite and educada little girl.
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Carrie, and dont forget the soplamocos…dont miss those…thank you for sharing your story…and southern phrase!